Noisemaking

Categories that somehow involve microphones and tape and junk like that.

Best Original Song

"Burn It Blue" from FRIDA (Miramax) Elliot Goldenthal and Julie Taymor
"Father and Daughter" from THE WILD THORNBERRYS MOVIE (Paramount and Nickelodeon Movies) Paul Simon
"The Hands That Built America" from GANGS OF NEW YORK (Miramax) Bono, The Edge, Adam Clayton, Larry Mullen
"I Move On" from CHICAGO (Miramax) John Kander and Fred Ebb
"Lose Yourself" from 8 MILE (Universal) Eminem, Jeff Bass and Luis Resto

There are people who believe that "Best Original Song" should be awarded to a tune that made a creative contribution to its film. That it should recognize the dramatic effect that the right piece of music can have when it appears at the right point in a character's arc. That it definitely should not go to the favorite band or the cut off the soundtrack that made it to #11. Those people are called "purists." But only by themselves; everyone else calls them "the folks who totally bit it in the office Oscars pool."

"I Move On" has the advantage of appearing in a bona-fide musical. But does anyone actually remember it? I just saw "Chicago" two weeks ago and I'm trying to figure out which tune it was. This looks like a job for Google. One moment, please. Your call is important to us.

OK, it's an end-credits song. It wasn't in the movie, so nobody heard it, and it isn't written or performed by anyone famous, so nobody has any sort of attachment to it. Bang it goes. And yeah, right, like they're going to give Eminem an Oscar. Two down.

We're left with three songs:

A song by Paul Simon.

A song by U2.

A song by someone who is neither Paul Simon nor U2.

And all of a sudden, we're left with only two songs, aren't we? Let's go with "Father And Daughter." I think the Academy's older-skewing membership is more likely to go for Paul Simon than U2. Plus, it appeared within the film, not under the end-credits like "The Hands That Built America." Plus, Paul Simon wasn't even nominated for his most famous movie song ("Mrs. Robinson." He didn't think he'd win so he didn't send in the paperwork).

Best Original Score

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN (DreamWorks) John Williams
FAR FROM HEAVEN (Focus Features) Elmer Bernstein
FRIDA (Miramax) Elliot Goldenthal
THE HOURS (Paramount and Miramax) Philip Glass
ROAD TO PERDITION (DreamWorks and 20th Century Fox) Thomas Newman

"The Hours"? That's how I'd describe five minutes spent listening to Philip Glass music! Thank you! Tip your waitresses! There's another show at 2!

The problem with Philip Glass is that he specializes in air-pudding. I won't claim to be a sophisticated listener. I've read about Philip Glass, and a current comment from fans is that the monotony and lack of structure is mind-numbing only up to a point. And then you sense hidden rhythms and patterns and the experience is pleasantly like watching the ocean, or having several hundred gallons of marshmallow sauce dropped on you from a great height, entirely against your will.

OK, I added that second thing. "Philip Glass orchestrations be challenging, but he is not without his fans." So noted be. But the Sublime Subtlety of his music means I really wasn't aware there was any music in "The Hours" at all. I can't imagine he's in there with a chance.

I'm going to pick John Williams, because I remember the music and I enjoyed it.

Best Sound

CHICAGO (Miramax) Michael Minkler, Dominick Tavella and David Lee
GANGS OF NEW YORK (Miramax) Tom Fleischman, Eugene Gearty and Ivan Sharrock
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS (New Line) Christopher Boyes, Michael Semanick, Michael Hedges and Hammond Peek
ROAD TO PERDITION (DreamWorks and 20th Century Fox) Scott Millan, Bob Beemer and John Patrick Pritchett
SPIDER-MAN (Sony Pictures Releasing) Kevin O'Connell, Greg P. Russell and Ed Novick

Another category that gives me fits every year. "Best Sound" awards the overall sound picture. If you close your eyes (good advice, given "Spider-Man"'s cheesy effects) does the movie still make sense? That is, does the sound "sell" the location and the environment, and is the dialogue distinct from the background?

My prediction: "Chicago." The star of this show is the musical numbers, where the orchestra and the vocalists have to be crisp and distinct, and (if I recall correctly) three different sort of halls have to be reproduced. Academy, you have my permission to give this one to "Chicago."

My personal pick: "The Lord Of The Rings." I just can't get past the fact that the folks who did the sound on this movie had to create worlds out of whole cloth, in a dazzling array of real and virtual environments. How can this not be an Oscar-worthy achievement? I'm frustrated by my lack of finesse in this area. No doubt there are professionals who are slack-jawed at the way a scene in "Road To Perdition" was recorded. "Look at all that glass in the back of the set," they explain, as I desperately try to figure out when I should be nodding and agreeing. "There's no way to eliminate bite-back from the plane, so you need to add an ADR-8 or even a Micheman between the principal actors and the extras. Then, you need a shotgun for reference, and God help you if it's picking up any ERM from the lighting rig. I tell you, if this scene doesn't win a Special Oscar, there ain't no justice in the world."

Best Sound Editing

THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS (New Line) Ethan Ven der Ryn and Michael Hopkins
MINORITY REPORT (20th Century Fox and DreamWorks) Richard Hymns and Gary Rydstrom
ROAD TO PERDITION (DreamWorks and 20th Century Fox) Scorr A. Hecker

"Sound Editing," on the other hand, rewards the creation and placement of "B'KOWW"s and "KRAKADOOMMMM"s and "SQUEEBEEDEEBEEDAPPP!!!!"s here and there in the soundtrack. "The Lord Of The Rings" sure had plenty of those and more besides.