Welcome, sensation-seekers, to yet another annual edition of
ANDY IHNATKO PICKS ON OSCAR! Wherein I delineate,
decrypt, deconstruct, (and basically creep people out with) DETAILED, EXTENDED
ANALYSIS of EVERY OSCAR PRESENTED DURING THE TELECAST!
For live (-ish) blow-by-blow (ibid) Oscar coverage on the big
night itself, point your browser to my blog:
Wherein I shall be offering live commentary, in a time-frame
ranging from the Instantaneous to the Somewhat Time-Delayed, as your kind
author shall be taking part in simultaneous online Oscar Parties and thus
his attention might be elsewhere while Whoopi Goldberg is making yet another
fart joke, causing him to let it pass (so to speak) uncommented.
BUT YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME! YOU WANT THE AFOREMENTIONED
ANALYSES! ONWARD!
OR YOU MAY ELECT TO BLOW STRAIGHT PAST ALL OF THAT AND
GO AHEAD! I'LL NEVER KNOW!
And now that the Oscars are over with, you can read my live commentary on
the OscarCast, wherein I recorded my reactions, observations and the other
transients in nominal neurochemistry I experienced as events unfolded before
me through the glorious miracle of Edison's televideopticon.